Thursday, December 30, 2010

Extraordinary Men in My Life: Part 1

Last night I was thinking of all the men who have been not only incredible blessings, but just downright extraordinary men. A very wise person told me once that if you have something to say that could be construed as negative, talk to the person face-to-face; but if it’s a positive, write. I would consider it a positive to be thought extraordinary. So writing it is.

Daddy

I could possibly be sent to blogger jail if I write all there is to say about this extraordinary man. He has set the example for all of us in work ethic, attitude, management, devotion to family, and so much more. He is truly the backbone of our family. Nothing is more important to him than his children (I know this personally :) ) and his grandchildren.

When I was little Daddy worked away from home. The weeks without him were long, but the weekends were fantastic! I can remember waiting up late on Friday night watching for his truck to turn into the driveway. He must have felt like a movie star—or at least we treated him like one! We would run out to the truck to meet him, hugging and laughing and talking all at one time. On Sunday afternoons he left again, and I usually cried until bedtime. I can remember people saying, “My husband wouldn’t go off and leave us like that!” But Daddy didn’t leave to get away; he left so we could have more. He wanted to be able to provide a college education for all of his children. He didn’t want Mama to have to work away from home. He wanted us to have the things we needed and some of what we wanted. He taught me that sometimes we do hard things for our family. Oftentimes we sacrifice for our children. What I have been blessed to see is that the time he missed with us, he has been able to spend with his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. How fun it is to hear his conversations with the babies – he is so sweet to them!

I know that I am not the only one to see the strength of my daddy. Even when my children are thinking about a new venture or job opportunity or purchase, they want to talk to Papa. When Robbie and I want advice – of ANY kind—we talk to Papa. When his brothers and sisters need help – you guessed it – Daddy is the one. Has he ever done wrong? Sure. Has he ever been hurt? Absolutely. But he holds no grudges, and he doesn’t get lost in mistakes. He is our rock, our supporter, our advisor, our provider. Daddy is an extraordinary man.

Robbie

Several years ago, a former student of my school killed a man. As the story unfolded, I learned that her home life had not been the best. When I went to lunch one day, I sat beside the history teacher. He asked, “Why in the world do women do that? Why do they marry men like their fathers?” “Well, I did,” I replied. “I always wanted to find somebody as much like my daddy as I could, and I did.”

I know that’s not what he meant; I’ve read all the research that says that women from abusive homes or ones with weak role models will often mimic that home life. But isn’t the opposite true as well? After Daddy’s example, I would never have settled for anything less. Robbie was a dream come true. I was not allowed to date until after I turned sixteen, and from the ninth grade through the first year of college, I “dated” the same boy. That means he got to come to my house and go to church with us. He was safe. Daddy knew his daddy and is birth weight and his address and his social security number. He didn’t worry about me. But when we decided to go our separate ways and I went to the movies with Robbie – that’s a Romeo and Juliet story I’ll have to blog about sometime – I was amazed by the man he was. We married and the children came along, and I saw more of Daddy in my husband. Robbie has always thought of himself last – driving the oldest cars, willing to have less, finding ways to make things work – so that the children and I could have what he wanted us to have. He puts his family first, and made every effort to be at all the ballgames, all the parties, all the milestones. He’s never even questioned the gifts we buy for Christmas or the money we give for birthdays.

In Children’s Church, now that his work schedule allows it, he helps me and is such important influence on those children. PopPop, as all the babies and all the kids in Children’s Church call him, is God’s gift to me, and I’m so glad he found me. Over thirty years after people said our marriage would never last a year, I am happy to be proving them wrong while reaping the rewards of a union blessed by God. Robbie is my best friend, my soulmate, my one true love. He is an extraordinary man.

Josh

Josh is my oldest son, my firstborn. He is so much like his daddy it's scary. In fact, Vicki and I have both said that we have to be careful and make sure we're talking to the right one, especially if they are facing away from us! Josh is one of the most mature young men I have ever met. He follows in Robbie's footsteps as far as putting his family first and himself last.

What a blessing to watch him with Grace. He is such a good daddy. I remember a few years ago when a mother came in and cancelled her ad in the yearbook for her son. She had just learned he would not graduate an honor student, and in her opinion, that was the least he could have done for her. She asked if I agreed with her, and I had to tell this story:  Josh missed being an honor student by one tenth of a point and the college prep diploma by one class. However, his character and integrity far surpasses that of any of the boys who walked in ahead of him. He graduated without an honor cord; he lives a life of honor. That's far more important. I count myself very blessed to have a son like Josh. My extraordinary son certainly makes a mama proud.

David
David is my son-in-love, the husband of my only daughter, Lauren. There is one description that fits him so well: he has been raised well. David's parents have raised him to be a man of his word, one who cherishes his wife and baby girl. He is kind and gentle and honors his mother and daddy. I believe that he could supply Carsyn and Lauren with all the needed even if there was no job to be had. He is that much in tune with the world around him. He would grow crops to feed them and supplement the vegetables with fish and deer. He is a country boy through and through, but a man that I am so proud to have in our family. In a world in which young men are often abusive and self-centered, David is an extraordinary example of what should be the norm.

Chicken David
That's what Grace calls my brother. She has two Uncle Davids and wanted to keep them separated. Since he owns chicken houses, my brother became "Chicken David." David has a big, big heart. He is always ready to help others and does not want recognition for it. He is a big man who is easily hurt, but he rarely shows it. He is a gentle giant, towering over the rest of us but so sweet and kind to everyone. David has a special touch with little ones. He can pretend with the best of them. It is nothing for him to be a member of a tea party or pretend to have a baby brother (which he always wanted and never got). The babies love to play with him because of this ability rarely seen in men. He is quick to see about helping others who are sick, selling chances for a benefit, buying Christmas for those who don't have enough. I am truly blessed to have Chicken David as my extraordinary brother.

Kenny
 I don't know a better description for Kenny than to say he is an extraordinary hero. He has been battling cancer for more than three years now. Chemotherapy and radiation have taken his hair and his physical strength. He has lost weight and energy he once had. He has been through major surgeries and recovered with determination and willpower.

Kenny's walk during this time has not been easy on him or his family. He misses being able to work and does not like being sick. But he never talks about his problems and he can always find someone else who needs his help. He has organized benefits for sick people and often lets us know of others who need prayer. His greatest distraction right now is his first grandchild, Tyler. Having to stay home has given him much more time and appreciation for the moments he has with Tyler and the rest of his family. Does he get tired and discouraged? Sure! Does he ask WHY? Never. And that, people, is what makes him an extraordinary man.

James "Bull" Owens
Bull is the affectionate nickname for our long-serving pastor. He can never know the depth of knowledge I and many others gained from him and his wonderful wife, Ms. Betty. He taught me how to pray, tithe, study, and teach. He is not perfect and would not profess to be so. He is, however, wise; and he is willing to share that wisdom. My spiritual life truly grew under his extraordinary leadership.

Allen
 And then there is my current pastor, Allen Joyner. I went to school with Allen and he married my first cousin. That, of course, makes him a first cousin. He came to the knowledge that he was being called to preach under Bull's tenure, and is now the beloved pastor of Sweet Home Baptist Church. There are so many reasons he is extraordinary: He was chosen by each of my three children to be the preacher who served at their weddings. He preached the funerals of nearly all my grandparents. He preached Robert's funeral. He has baptized several of the children in my extended family. He has been at the hospital for births, deaths, and surgeries. Allen has grown almost visibly in his spiritual strength, and I admire him so much for the extraordianry man and pastor he has become.

Disclaimer: Some people may read this and think, "Well, of course she would talk about her daddy and sons." I count myself lucky to be able to regard these men as extraordinary. These are the still-living men who have had a huge impact on my life. Of course, there are many uncles and acquaintances that have made my life wonderful. More will come later about the extraordinary men who are no longer here.

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