Pioneer Woman of the South...NOT!

I am directionally challenged.

Truly this statement is a huge step...I'm bowing to my flaw. It's a pretty serious one, in fact. I have always been amazed at how other people (men, usually) can just sort of pick a road or a turn, guessing about where it comes out, and they always remember the way back out. Imagine all those pioneers of old just hooking up the horse and wagon and leaving...no maps.Amazing!

That, alas, is not me.

(As a side note, I should mention that this deficit in the gene pool has been passed on to Lauren. We cannot go anywhere without making at least one -usually several more- "U-ies." )

So you can imagine my elation when, not so many years ago, I gained through the internet the ability to print out a map with step-by-step directions to anywhere. WONDERFUL!! But what if there was a detour? Road work? A traffic accident? Heaven forbid.

Then along came gps systems for the car. Hallelujah!! A device that TALKS to the driver, recalculates if a turn is missed or blocked...could life get any better?

Maybe. Just maybe.

Saturday my uncle was taken by helicopter to the hospital in Dothan and I took Mama to be there for the surgery. We are a close-knit family and like to be together in times of trouble. There was no question that we would go. I looked up the address on the internet and printed it out. Then I got Lauren's gps (which she rarely uses until she has already had to make one u-turn) and programmed it. I was double armed. Finally, I consulted with Robbie about the way to go. He said, "Don't you remember when we used to go to Ashford?" Ummm - yeah. From LUVERNE. Through TROY. Oh well. Off we went.

At first, everything was fine. The directions were easy to follow (written and spoken), and Mama had been part of the way before and remembered it. AND THEN...Miss GPS said (in a very sultry voice), "In one-half mile, take the exit left." So I did. And then she said (still sultry), "Please make a U turn." What??? Mama and I just looked at each other! I didn't U turn, but she (Isn't kind of weird to refer to her as if she is a bitty bitty person LIVING inside the screen. Think she gets a kick out of giving people heart attacks?) got me turned around and to the hospital. I felt so accomplished.

After surgery was done and everyone began to leave, I once again depended on another source. Casey knew some of the way because of going down to see Teri. But after a while, she called and said her Verizon gps on her phone was "going stupid." So I turned mine on (I had just hit Take Me Home) and got in front. And drove. And drove. And drove. We saw NOTHING we remembered. Not a single familiar site. At one point, on a road with no turns, the demon from the screen said, "Make a left turn now." Where? Into the pasture? So I stayed straight, and eventually we came out in Elba and Brantley. Keep in mind that we did not even come CLOSE to those towns on the way down.

So I don't know. Maybe I'm not as directionally challenged as I think. Maybe it's a conspiracy between Google Maps and the GPS industry. Maybe I'm just supposed to stay home. Maybe there's a lesson I'm supposed to learn. Something like...hmm...IT'S NOT ABOUT HOW YOU GET THERE, BUT THAT YOU DO--EVENTUALLY.